On Hold

And I am back, but only for a brief second. This post is just to let anyone who still views this know that I am currently putting all reviews on hold... This is mainly because I am now working part time in a morning shift before school. This means I have to go to bed at around 5pm every night so I have enough energy for constant heavy lifting. Also, it's coming up to the end of the semester for me and I have ISU's and projects which need attending to and finishing. But fortunately, the end of the semester is very near, and once my school is finished, I will have alot more time to play all the crappy and great games and do reviews.

Another Day, Another Golden Sun

Welcome back loyal viewers, and I say loyal cause you must be to keep checking back. But before I post this review, I must give a little insight on what it took to make;

1) I spent 2 full days on this. This is mainly because every time I rendered the video, something screwed up. This varied from it moving clips around, to spacing clips to not even rendering parts of the fucking video. I also uploaded one good version, but it was choppy and it pissed me off so I took it down.

2) I broke a monitor making this. I was so pissed it wasn't even funny.


but, i'm sure your here to watch it, right? Well here you go!

A chemical stick taped to a bottle of gas for fireworks?

Well hello once again. I'm sure your wondering how I go from barely posting, to posting twice in a row like this. Well truth be told I'm bored out of my mind, and I thought i'd share, what looks like, will be one of the best games of this decade. And no, this is not a review.

The game im refering to is Alone in the Dark, which seems to have one of the best concepts for a game that i'v seen in a very very long time. This game has it all, strategy, graphics and some awesome idea's which I can only describe as "I never thought I could make my enemy into an actual bomb!".

The game has something which is very new to video games, and that is a real-time inventory. I'm pretty sure this, obviously, has already been done, but they seemed to take this to the next level. Your inventory is actually your trench coat, which he opens, and you get to select what you want to do. There are obviously going to be limits on what you can and cannot do. Like I doubt you could tape a chemical stick to a bottle of gas, put tape on that, cut it open, throw it so it sticks to a monster, light the stream of gas on fire, and blow everything up and create fireworks. This video will give you a really awesome idea of what to expect though;

Through all odds, I perservered!

Welcome one and all to yet another post by yours truly. Now before I get into this post, the reason i'v barely been posting is simple. End of school year and Call Of Duty 4. Because of my communications technology class, much of my computer time is being donated to a heavily time-based project. The only way I can even hand this assignment in, is if I get authorization from Activision allowing me to use game clips. But enough of that, after all, your here to read a game review, right?


WRONG!!!!!one11one!11one!1!

You see, I FINALLY got around to my promise to myself... I actually finished my folklore video review! I'll be the first to admit, the script for it sucks, as it was a pain in the ass to even try and record it in the first place. And when it comes to me reviewing.. well let's just say I don't have the most exstatic voice. But it is up.

I was in the midt of uploading it to youtube, and I started to smell something..... very wrong. This smell, in turn, was my videocard on my computer. My videocard had started overheating, and in turn let off the smell of burning plastic. When I took my videocard to check it out, the fan had actually melted and my computer would no longer work... At this point I figured god hated me, because I had finally got through all the problems and got it together... and my computer died. FORTUNATLY, my dad was able to connect a fan over the heatsinc and my computer was revived.

But with no further adue, I give you MY FOLKLORE VIDEO REVIEW!!

I hate this crap

Well as you can see, I am still in the land of the living, I havent passed into the netherworld yet. I'v been busting my ass trying to get my videoreview up for folklore, and it's causing alot of problems with files not being compatible with my editing program, and I am currently in the stages of trying to fix this. I'll hopefully have it posted up this coming weekend.

Back To Basics

I feel the need to rant about my day--
My day was ass--
I woke up at around 6am SWEATING TO DEATH, and my bed was all sweaty so I had to wash the sheets--
Then from 10am-2pm I did homework for english-- It was on personification-- It was a video on personification--
I got it done, and I didn't mind doing it either--
Then I had to burn it to a DVD-- So I go to drag and drop it into the burning program, and it closes-- So I try again, and it closes--
I take the file and DVD to my dad and ask him to do it-- It does the same thing--
I SPENT 2 FUCKING HOURS TRYING TO BURN A FUCKING FILE TO A FUCKING DVD THAT WOULDN'T FUCKING WORK BECAUSE THE PROGRAM IS A PIECE OF FUCKING ASS!--
Fortunatly, on Maplestory, the game im going to review this warm spring evening, made me happy.

Back to basics, and by this I mean back to the old way of playing games on the old old systems. Side scrolling. This game is a little different then my usual reviews, as it is a free online MMO. For those not familiar with an MMOG (Massively Multiplayer Online Game). The basic concept of maplestory, is you pick a character you wanna be.

Bowman Magician Rogue Warrior

Once you choose your character type, you pretty much run around a massive world with millions of other people, and do quests, kill monsters, level up and just generally have a good time with friends or people you meet online. By have a good time I don't mean ask someone where they live and ask for an e-blowjob. I mean just talk about random crap and beat the shit out of stuff you see. Throughout the game you buy new equipment, transfer to new job classes and try to show how hardcore you are buy spending hundreds of hours doing nothing but killing shit. I myself have become addicted to the game that I oh so hated awhile ago, but since my friends played it, I got into it.

The game does have it's things to rip on, of course. Such as when you initially make your character. You actually have to 'roll' stats, which roll all your attributes at the same time, and randomize it. You may think this can't be to bad. But when you think about it, each type of character only requires 2 out of the 4 stat types to be invested into. And since you know before hand, you actually have to roll the lowest possibly numbers, which is 4/4 for the 2 stats you don't want, or else your character will blow massive ass. This can actually take along time to roll good stats, and god pray you don't get them, and accidently hit re-roll cause you've been doing it for 6 hours.

Another thing I can rip on is the quests. I had recently, done a quest, which I had my level 82 friend help me with. It was to kill 999 evil eyes, which is a type of monster, and he did all the killing. It would of taken me 2-3 days to kill that many, since the level I was and damage I was doing. But this way it only took 2-3 hours. I had finally done it, and prayed for the most amazing reward ever. I went back, and was serevely disappointed when I got 2,ooo exp. Now to me at the time, that filled my exp bar about.. 5%, which was HORRIBLE. Now, before this, I had done a similar quest which asked me to kill 99 evil eyes. For that quest i got 5,ooo exp... does that make ANY sense? Like ALOT of these quests are fucking just retarded. Not to mention that quest almost drove me bat shit insane trying to dodge the millions of monsters that were around.

I'll pick one last thing about the game, which will be good, since it is a good game. There is something known as, the "Cash shop". In every MMOG on the face of the planet, there is some form of shop, in which case you can pay real money, to buy awesome items online. These items vary from being stronger then the regular you can buy, or are just for looks. The 'cash shop' money you get is called Nexon, or NX for short, and it's used to buy the stuff from the cash shp. In all my years of playing MMOG's online, I have never seen a shop with this much stuff in it. The neat this is, for people who don't have credit cards or paypal, Nexon has cards that you can buy from stores, i.e shoppers drugmart, 7-11 etc. I myself am actually going to get some of this at the begginning of next month. I'll indulge myself and treat myself to some nice little items.

I believe this will end my little MMO review, as I now am going to go play it. I'll hopefully be back on within the next week to give you my first video review. Tak'er Easy Ladies and gents.

Web-Slinging ASS!

Well I'm alive and kicking, and finally got another review up. I'm STILL in the works of Recording Folklore.. sorry it's taking so long... but if you ever played this ASS of a game, you'd see why too. I haven't played it in four days. But you'll eventually see that one up, and it will, of course, be my first video review I do. But back to this review;

I had originally planned to make spider-man 3 my video review, but turns out my 6 HOURS OF PLAY didn't turn out right on the tape. So I decided to just rip into the old fashion way. [But I realize I took your title and changed it <3].

Ok, now I'v never been a fan of spider-man. A sissy who got bit by a spider, turned into a mutant, and somehow landed a smokin' hot redhead. That just doesn't happen. But this game REALLY completed my hatred.

Ok, this game, I WILL ADMIT, had alright graphics for a spider-man game, considering past games. But the game was a repetative button mashing nightmare. You start off, in the city where you can pick from one of a few missions. Being me, wanting to see if MJ was smokin' hot in this game, went straight for the mission called "Mary Janes Thrill Ride". At this point I was hoping for either a REALLY big rollercoaster somehow running through the town, or some porn. I was hoping more for the porn. But it turns out, I got neither. PETER IS THE MOST PUSSY-WHIPPED PERSON IN THE WORLD! And Mary Jane Is The LAZIEST person in the world. She actually has her OWN SET OF MISSONS, where Peter is her personal TAXI! You ACTUALLY have to swing around and take her where she wants to go. But THEN You have to actually do what she SAYSm such as swing low, swing faster, go higher etc. Well in the middle when she just screams "Go faster peter!" seems like I should be set to see some sex, but no. There we're more and more after these, and everytime I hoped for porn, but I got screwed.

Besides him being pussy-whipped, there are three main gangs. Arsenic Candy, The Apocolypse, and Order of the dragon tail, which sounds like a friggen chinese food restauraunt. Arsenic Candy are a bunch of girls who are in the midst of angst. They run around in a gothic maid uniform and beat the shit out of you with umbrellas. They also throw teddy bears that are bombs at you, and occasionally, you will find one of them weilding a 700 pound hammer thats longer then they are. Then you have The Apocolypse, which are a bunch of guys in the midst of angst. They actually look like they've been pumping radio active shit into them cause most of them look distorted and covered in tattoos. Oh yeah, and there weapons are, fists, and STREET SIGNS! The other is The Order Of the dragon Tail. Now these guys are just friggen rediculous. They pull off the craziest martial arts shit off and still kick your ass. Not to mention they somehow manage to appear out of URNS. And never stop coming until you destory the urns. All they use are fists and every part of there body.

Now besides them, there are pety criminals running amuck in the city, and you can just swing around, find them and kick there asses. Earns you some ranking thing that I never understood. And you of course, can't count on the cops to stop them.

From the start of this game, you are taught about the stupid little timing puzzles. It will go into a scene of spider-man swinging by himself, and you have to hit a button or he'll mess up, and then you gotta do it over and over until you get them all right. Now these are so amazingly stupid, because you have to have some superhuman reflexs to hit them all the time. The one upside, is if you don't hit the button you usually get to see spider-man get his shit fucked up when a piece of ceiling crushed him, or he swings into the side of a building. And these go on through the ENTIRE GAME.

There are also the timing puzzles, which have to do with bombs. You spend 5 minutes going through little button mini-games trying to difuse the bomb. These are ok at first, until you realize almost every single mission you do entails stopping a bomb. After awhile it gets a BIT repetative.

Now I know im just ripping on things in the game and not the storyline, so im being unfair. Well here's the storyline;

Well the story line branches off into so many fucking areas in hard to pinpoint, cause theres billions of different missions which all blow chunks. The MAIN one, which took me about an hour to think of, is the scorpion ones that show up a bit later in the game. I don't know what other ones there are, cause after 6 hours of playing the game, I stopped playing it because I Was afraid I Was going to get a tumor or cancer. But, for the most part, it was chasing after some scientist woman to try and free scorpion from a mind control device. And of course, to do that. You have to knock the shit out of him.

OK! I HAVE TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST! YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUGE TIGHT SECURITY LAB! YOUR AVOIDING LAZERS AND GUARDS! Up ahead is a laser field, so you gotta beat the crap out of the guard and hit the button to deactivate them. Guess what this does? IT OPENS A MINIGAME IN WHICH, YOU ARE SCORPION, KILLING GUARDS! How fucking DUMB is that?! Your in the middle of sneaking around, so you play a fucking mini-game? This is something that made me stop playing, it was just SO stupid.

Throughout the game, you play as spider-man, and the venom suit spider-man. And there are also little missions you can play as new goblin.

New Goblin: Ok. When I first unlocked him I almost shit my pants. I thought it was going to be the SWEETEST thing ever. And whats cooler! You got to control him with SIXAXIS!! So I used his little gas thingy and flew around a bit. Only thing was it was impossible to control, and when you used his boost you couldn't steer him at all. I actually got so pissed off i hrew my controller on my bed, and it landed on my blanket pointing up. So I came back in, and he was about 8000 feet in the air! It took like 5 minutes to fly down. And when you use him, you have different enemies to fight. And he of course, being bad ass and all, has swords that he attacks with. The only problem is everytime you swing, they block and you do no damage. The only ACTUAL way to kill them, is to throw BOMBS at them, which kill them instantly. But thats all luck since you can't aim them. He's got to be the WORST character in the history of any game.

The venom suit spidey is pretty bad ass, cause hes alot stronger. But he did shine in one part. The only part I had liked out of the game, and even still I was disappointed.

When you fight Sandman for the first time, your underground. The only thing Sandman did was pull out a shield and mace made of sand, and attacked. But this was avoidable by just moving away from him and he'd put it away. But during this fight Peter seems like a very angry person, and he just WHOOPS SANDMANS ASS! It wasn't very epic considering it was so easy, but when it came to the button timing puzzle shit, it got good. He actually throws him infront of a moving subway car! Then he throws him against a few pipes and somehow manages to rip apart a cast iron 8,000,000 gallon water pipe which just takes sandman god knows where. This was the ONLY good part.

It was around after this I had stopped playing, because the game suched so horribly. Im sure there are a couple more up sides to the game, but I aint putting myself through cancer treatment to play this ass game.

This game just made me never want to play the game series ever again. And you know, when the movie sucks, you can't make a good game based on it, you jus't cant. If you get this game, I advise you to do 2 things. Watch spidey get fucked up during timing puzzles, and find the highest building in the game and jump off it and you'll see him smoke the ground.

This ends my review, of the second worst game for the PS3. I know this was a single player review, but give me a break :P.